The Lobster and I share an interesting history which includes having spent time within the same semi-cult* and having been pursued by the same semi-cult poster boy during our time therein. My disillusion with the group and eventual distancing of self was a long, slow process, involving a couple of break-ups before I finally divorced myself of them. The Lobster was kicked out for having rejected and exposed the then married poster boy’s inappropriate advances, and for maintaining contact with me. I’m so subversive!
We talk a lot about our time at The Ministry (TM for short). We talk about how we became engaged with it, and the subtle process of indoctrination. We talk about how we started to see what was around us, how we questioned what was being done and what we were being asked to do, and why we stayed so long. We talk about friends and family who were grievously hurt by TM, and our own war wounds. And we talk about getting free. That is a process in and of itself.
Outside friends of mine have watched my process, usually with one question, “How did you get roped into believing all that to begin with?!” It’s a fair question. Frankly, I think once you are willing to believe in creation stories, mystic plagues, virgin births, and resurrections, you’ve shown that you’re willing to believe almost anything. If you’re willing to bet your eternal soul on a little guy in a 2000 year old manger, then why is it such a stretch that you would be willing to bet 10% of your income on a charismatic dude you can see? (This is why my husband does the finances. I’m still quite attached to the little guy in the manger, you see. I like to think I’m less influenced by charisma.)
The Lobster and I were talking about TM today, in light of some recent postings from a mutual acquaintance. An outsider posed a question (not to us) asking why our mutual acquaintance’s truth wasn’t published information if it were actually true. The answer to that is exhausting, but maybe summed up best by the words, “gag order”.
One adherent to TM posted a seemingly balanced statement regarding the situation, suggesting that the leadership of TM were not to blame for any issues. After all, people wouldn’t follow them if they were so bad.
And that’s just it. It’s a house of cards. If people allow themselves to acknowledge the fact that TM’s leadership is a screwed up mess, then they have to allow for the possibility that The Leader is a screwed up mess. If The Leader is a screwed up mess, then they may have been throwing their
money away and making fun of Tom Cruise for no good reason. Haha! He
believes in space clams! Oh crap…I guess I do, too. We can’t handle
the truth.
I can’t laugh at Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise hits way too close to home. I see a lot of my own formerly zealous self in him. I was sold out completely to TM, and was couch jumping proud of it. You have no idea how humbling and humiliating it is to admit that. It’s heartbreaking really.
I’m sure I’ll write more about this off and on, it’s just weighing on my mind today.
*Using the Cult Checklist here is my definition of “semi-cult”
- A movement that separates itself from society, either geographically or socially; [The ministry compound is geographically removed from easy access, and is now fenced and patrolled. I am not sure how access is granted these days, but I hear it isn't easy. Getting out is fine. They don't mind you leaving.] [The Lobster adds: ARMED GUARDS. REAL GUNS. MY EX-HUSBAND HAS PERSONALLY BEEN TASERED BY THE SECURITY STAFF. I HAVE PERSONALLY CALLED SECURITY ON GUESTS WITH CAMERAS WHO SEEM THEY MIGHT BE REPORTERS IN HIDING. NO PHOTOS INSIDE THE BUILDING! BAH!]
- Adherents who become increasingly dependent on the movement for their view on reality; [Adherents to this ministry are told repeatedly that their blessing, which could be anything from that solid gold Lexus to their child's health, is directly attached to their loyalty to giving money to the ministry. This is done under the guise of "sowing seed (finances) into good ground". The only good ground is a ministry obviously and visibly "blessed" by God. When the definition of being obviously and visibly blessed is given, it is in conjunction with the fruits of their own ministry, or a handful of select partner ministries. Thus, Adherents believe that giving money outside of this small circle is throwing it away, and that they must continue to grow within this small circle until their blessing/miracle comes to fruition. They are told constantly that leaving the ministry is a mistake, that it is running outside of God's will, and that speaking against it is directly punishable by God himself.] [The Lobster adds: INVESTMENT. IF YOU WALK AWAY AND DROP YOUR FAITH ALL OF THAT MONEY IN YOUR "HEAVENLY BANK ACCOUNT" WILL BE LOST. DO YOU REMEMBER THOSE ACCOUNT BOOKS TM,jr. USED TO SELL SO YOU COULD
RECORD YOUR HEAVENLY BANK ACCOUNT SORTA LIKE YOUR EARTHLY ONE? HE S.O.L.D. BOOKS TO KEEP TRACK OF THE MONEY Y.O.U. WERE GIVING H.I.M. ]
- Important decisions in the lives of the adherents are made by others; [The pastors of the church have attempted to exercise some extreme control over certain congregants. I would say allegedly, but I've been one of those congregants and I have witnessed it first hand, so suck it. However, only certain congregants are targeted, so not all ahderents are affected.] [The Lobster adds: I MARRIED A 19 YEAR OLD BOY WITH TOURETTES BECAUSE I WAS TOLD IT WAS SATAN WHO PUT THE IDEA IN MY HEAD THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS. 2ND IN CHARGE PASTOR OF THE WHOLE CHURCH TOLD ME I COULDN'T CANCEL THE WEDDING LEST I DISOBEY GOD BECAUSE THE HEAD PASTOR HAD PROPHECIED THAT HE & I WOULD
MARRY. SUCK IT.] [And I add to The Lobster here, that #2 used emotional blackmail regarding her child to coerce her.]
- Making sharp distinctions between us and them, divine and Satanic, good and evil, etc. that are not open for discussion; [The Prophet of this ministry has said outright that speaking against him is speaking against God's very anointing, and that God will punish you for speaking against His Prophet. He has given examples of how he believes people who spoke against him were punished by God.] [The Lobster adds: IF YOU SPEAK OUT YOU ARE "GOAT"; YOUR EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK INCLUDES A PAGE YOU MUST SIGN UPON HIRE STATING YOU UNDERSTAND YOU CAN BE FIRED FOR "STRIFE" (I.E., DISAGREEING WITH LEADERSHIP IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM)--YOUR DIVINE PASTORS ARE REMOVED
FROM YOU ONE STEP FURTHER BY SECRET SERVICE KEEPERS CALLED ARMOR BEARERS.]
- Leaders who claim divine authority for their deeds and for their orders to their followers; [Yep. This one is covered, since The Prophet has a direct link to God, and says that his major decisions and the movements of the ministry are directed by God through The Prophet.]
- Leaders and movements who are unequivocally focused on achieving a certain goal. [This doesn't hold true for this ministry. Unless you count getting rich as a goal, which I don't.] [The Lobster Snarks: WORLD DOMINATION AND CREATING A NEW JERUSALEM ISN'T A GOAL?]
Given the above, not quite a cult, but definitely heading in the right direction.
